Now entering Jack's Office

[heroantagonist]

[It's a long ride up in the elevator. The floors passing you by start to merge together into a jumbled blur, leaving the whole experience altogether surreal and boring.

Eventually though, it ends. Finally, you're deposited in a yellow hallway, rows upon rows of computers on business desks encased in large glass windows. A disc-shaped cleaning bot handles the long stretch of hallway you march down, rumbling incessantly as it passes. More potted plants. More Hyperion logos, getting worse by the second-

And then you enter Jack's office.

The man (the myth, the legend) himself is probably behind his desk. So why don't you drop in and say hi? Just be mindful of the rules...]

Comments

[heroantagonist]

[The office remains silent for a moment or two. With the soft humming of electricity coursing under Gwen's feet. Then-]

Yeah, yeah, be with you in a second.

[Jack (In the flesh... more or less) swivels back around in his chair, offering his undivided attention towards Gwen.]

Welcome, miss... Pool? I guess? You've got questions for me?

[gwenchman]

… okay, first of all, neat entrance. Ten style points.

[ Dang it, Jack. Why you gotta be kind of a cool villain? She’s never going to admit that. ]

Many questions! We’ll start with the easy one. Is there any way we could get some hairdye? I know Ruby and I are probably gonna need re-ups if we’re… stuck here.

[heroantagonist]

What's the point of doing anything if there's not a little style behind it, am I right? You get it.

[Before he was in charge, Hyperion barely had a stylish thing to their name. Now, they're (in his mind) the most stylish corporation around.]

...Hair dye? Seriously? I mean, sure. Yeah. You want to maintain your look, I can understand that. [He types something into a keyboard on his desk, a holographic screen pops up to face him.] How about... This friday?

[gwenchman]

Friday’s fine! Uh, thanks.

[ She’s not that awed by the extra holograph, but still regards it curiously. Living in the Marvel world has her used to future tech. ]

Second off! I’m gonna be really frank with you, dude. I’m sort of having an existential crisis ay-tee-em and having all of these characters from all of these different things that aren’t Marvel isn’t really sitting well with me.

Never mind the fact that I can’t see the panels anymore.

Am I still in a comic book?

[heroantagonist]

...Ohhh, right. Because that's apparently a thing that you've got going on.

[He seems to understand what the problem is, even before Gwen speaks up.]

Okay, let me set you at ease. No, you're not in a comic book. You're in real life, kiddo, just like the rest of us.

[gwenchman]

… this is the first time in three years I haven’t been.

I was happy there. I hate the way it feels. Being here.

[ Gwen sighs, and brushes away the tears that are building in her eye. They feel real. This is a real world problem, and she hates it. ]

There are other people here who are fictional where I first came from. Including you. So you just… had us pulled here? Into the real world? Is that something you’re allowed to tell me?

[heroantagonist]

[There's some sort of edge in Jack's brow, the way it knits together. It doesn't entirely fit right. Hard to say why.]

Well, I just told you, so I don't see why it's too much of an issue. Besides, the way I'm seeing it, you were from one world, just like everyone else here. Just because you like to say that your world is the "real" one, doesn't make the rest any faker.

[gwenchman]

I didn't know if any of them were real.

[ She knows she is, but a working theory in her head was that some other people weren't. Gwen hates knowing there's a universe out there that Andrew Hussie is personally responsible for that many more awful things.

She wipes away some of the snot building at her nose.]

You're not wrong. Normally I'd be so psyched about this Ready Player One noise you've got going on, but... not like this.

[heroantagonist]

[We can all thank our lucky stars that Andrew Hussie isn't here. Well, they might be, in spirit. And in the vents.]

Ohhh, let me guess. The salad bar isn't to your liking? That one was thrown in at the last second.

[He's joking. Probably.

After a moment, Jack wordlessly reaches into a drawer on his desk and pulls out a box of tissues. He pushes it in Gwen's way.]

[gwenchman]

[ Sniff. ]

Thanks.

[ Gwen takes the tissues and wipes her nose, it's a little red at this point. ]

The salad bar was actually a nice gesture. I just kept piling my plate with cheese and crotuons.

[heroantagonist]

Don’t mention it.

And hey, that’s what it’s for. How many losers do you know that actually eat salad from a salad bar, huh? Can’t be a lot.

[gwenchman]

People who visit the salad bar need to seriously think about their life choices. It just fills you up before you actually eat stuff! With vegetables! It's even worse than eating all the bread at a restaurant before they bring you the food.

... except for Olive Garden. The breadsticks are half the experience.

[heroantagonist]

Exactly, the bread can be the best part, but I don’t want to fill up on an appetizer before I hit the main course, no matter how good it is.

[…]

Aaaand now I want breadsticks. Fantastic.

[gwenchman]

You can get all of us and all of this stuff but you can’t get some breadsticks? Get some breadsticks, man. Live your dream.

[heroantagonist]

Oh I can totally get some breadsticks. Helios is like the best place in the system for them.

Just, yknow, I’m busy right now.